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Place blame on others
Power struggles that lead to a lose - lose situation
Using the same consequence for all occurrences
Using your childhood as a model all of the time
Trying to fight battles that are not of the utmost importance (hair, clothes, music)
Trying to make adolescents think, learn, and say what we want them to.
Necessary elements of interventions - Consequences, Love, and Negotiation
Love them regardless of what they do
Pick battles wisely, choosing the most important ones first. (School, behavior, etc.)
Hold them accountable for their actions
Be specific with consequences and don't change them for any reason
Approach the situation with a non-involvement "I hope you can solve this problem yourself"
Negotiate when not in an emotional state
Acknowledge the adolescent and their rights but don't always agree with them
List options and re-evaluate
This information was furnished by Dr. Ray Levy at the 1996 ADDA Conference.
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